Truth

by Connie on March 9, 2012

What a loaded word.

“Tell the truth.” “You can’t handle the truth.” “The truth will out.” “Truth is stranger than fiction.” One Google query brings more options for truth quotes, to tell you the truth, than I can handle.

As I launch this next phase of my journey and ponder what to share in this initial blog, I keep hearing my heart say, speak your truth. My truth is rooted in my belief that what I have to say matters to me. I have no control over how these words land out there in the world, but me allowing my truths to wander out into this world brings me to life. I spent a lot of years trying to ignore, sideline, eat away, and avoid my truths. Well, that didn’t work well, but thankfully the journey landed me right here…much more present.

At times, I ended up either bulimic or very overweight; at times, I lied to please others or soften the blow of how truth might land; at times I sold out my truth to buy someone else’s, because mine seemed scary or they seemed wiser; at times, when the truth fell out of the closet, I fought to shove it back in before it cluttered the room; at times, I lived a life of fiction hoping the truth would never be real; and at times, well a whole lot of times, I hid.

When my Mom ran the local Girls Club back in the 60’s, she began her mornings behind a beautiful oak desk in the front room of a donated southern mansion. The neighborhood had changed. The rich people had left, but they provided space for care and nurturing of the girls, that back then, didn’t have a safe place to play. Each morning, one of my Mom’s greatest joys occurred when this little 5-year-old girl came through her door first thing and hollered (that’s a bit louder than yelling), “Mrs. Burnett, HERE I IS!!!!!”

So world, HERE I IS. Me. Out of hiding; crying, remembering, and laughing as I write; feeling a bit vulnerable, but willing to play; ridiculously protected by love; and still working “my stuff” everyday.

There has been a waterfall of truth in my life lately. I have 6 first cousins and a kind aunt this week that I did not know about last week. Four days ago I let go of my desire to create my website, because playing small felt safer, but then clarity came and I realized this space is for me and for you.

Life is a bundle of emotions that will roll in and out effecting us whether we choose to feel them or not. Life can tickle us like the sound of a child’s first bout of uncontrollable laughter. Life can call us forward or drop trees on a house in an instant. I became a “life debris removal specialist”, because when we dust ourselves off, step back on our true path again, and can feel our light shine a little brighter we are more alive.

Step one for me was not only speaking my truth, but offering truth a cup of tea, inviting her to sit with me and tell me what she knows. It’s amazing how much wisdom there is inside of each of us. So from my friend truth and me, sitting here in my den in Tennessee, I invite you to join me on the journey deeper into what is real. Have you sat with your truth lately?

“You will never find yourself until you face the truth.” Pearl Bailey

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

pamela poletti April 21, 2012 at 4:05 pm

I once knew a woman named Truth, well, she named herself Truth, she was given a different named at birth (is changing your name truthful)? Anyway, Truth was probably full of truth but she was certainly full of opinions. She had a large and well-meaning heart but in my opinion I wondered how she could ever live up to the very name (or label) she had given herself. I mean, she didn’t name herself “My Truth” or “The Truth as I See It” or anything that would give her even an ounce of wiggle room. Nopie, she declared herself “Truth”. In the end, I began to wonder (as she dropped friends one by one) where TRUTH ends and judgment begins. I don’t know. Are names labels? If so, are they re-assuring but limiting? I admit that I envy Truth’s self-confidence and am impressed that she set so high a bar for herself. I’m more wishy-washy, I guess. (See, I can’t even be sure about being not sure). But finding “truth” is either tough or tricky or the most natural thing in the world. What labels apply to us, or which labels we choose for ourselves matters. Doesn’t it? And how do we live up to them? And how do we switch them out when we need to? I mean, as we discover the truth about ourselves? How do we feel when we are being truthful? How does our body send us clues “ah, yes — there’s your truth”. Wow, all this blog-babble. In truth, I’m only beginning to understand that “truth”, if not exactly relative, may well be fluid. Help!

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Connie April 24, 2012 at 1:17 am

Pamela, perhaps truth is discovered in the powerful questions and the journey they create. You have created a beautiful example of that here. I would ask where judgement lives in your body. I’m curious to know if she has something to say to you as you walk the path to peace. Perhaps what Truth saw was her own truth. A wise woman once told me that there are many things we believe are true, but we have few truths and they are our own…hmmmmmmmmm. Fluid, yes, perhaps it flows and grows. Thanks for the pondering, Pamela. You’ve got me thinking, too.

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